CoffeeMUD

Different55 · 2014-10-17 12:53:33

This is a shout-out to my homies who love that RP stuff. That's right, the ones that are living that #threeofclubs lifestyle.

Booiii (alternatively, guurrrrrl) have I got a game for you.

It's got all the RP-ness of an RP but with 90% less fat brain-bending number-crunching!

You might look at it and be all like "woah lame"
but just wait until you get into this. You be meeting NPCs who be sarcastic like
(Commands and unrelated lines removed for readability)

Doz says to you 'What's up Burritoman?'

You say to Doz 'Not much'

Doz calls on his god for you to be released from a curse.
Doz says to you 'why not?'

You say to Doz 'Because I am being possessed by a monkey werewolf'

Doz says to you 'i can see you are being possessed by a monkey werewolf. that's obvious'

And other NPCs who just be creepin'

The adept of Xanxir smiles at you.
The adept of Xanxir sweetly says to you 'What's up Burritoman?'

You stand up.
You say 'not much'

The adept of Xanxir happily says to you 'are you really sure?'

You say 'I'm going to go now'

The adept of Xanxir sweetly says to you 'why are you going to go now ?'

You say 'Because you creep me out.'

And you be sniffing torches like

You sniff a torch.
A torch has a rich oaky smell.

You say 'Awww yeeee that's the good stuff'

Now I can tell you're hooked. I can see that look in your eyes. You want to sniff you some torches. So instead of me wasting your time going on about all this other crap, I'm going to tell you exactly how to get some torch-sniffing action going on right now.

Step 1: Pick how you want to do this.
You want a lag-free experience that flows like the wind? Then go with Telnet or PuTTY. Telnet is installed on basically every system that ever existed, and PuTTY puts Telnet to shame and does it in a file size of less than a MB.

You want to lag on this game? Well. Here you go. No downloads necessary.

Step 2: Connect to this sucker.
To open up telnet on windows, lay some Win+R smackdown on your keyboard, type in "telnet" and hit enter. Now this next part is so simple, a monkey could do it. Type "open coffeemud.net". That's it. Make yourself an account, a character, learn the ropes, and get to RPing.

"But wait!" you say. "I use Mac/Linux/ReactOS/Haiku/TempleOS/DeadBadgerOS/Android/Bai-" Let me stop you right there, because it's simple. Pop open a terminal, and type "telnet coffeemud.net". Bam, you're in. Telnet is installed on everything.

But let's say you managed to land yourself on the one (windows, because Microsoft likes to take away nice things) computer on the planet without telnet. That's where PuTTY comes in.

With PuTTY, it's even simpler. Open it up, type coffeemud.net in that box, fill in the bubble that says Telnet, slap the start button and away you go.

Step 3: Don't die of heat stroke.
It must be summer or something because every time I leave the shade during the day I'm assaulted by the heat of a thousand stars.

Step 4: Avoid Midgaard like the plague.
Jk not really. Choose midgaard as your city when you finish mud school. But look out for people with tourettes syndrome. Apparently it's contagious in this game, and Midgaard is going through an epidemic. If you see someone with tourettes, run.

Step 6: Never go out of character except when using the OOC command.
Nothing bad happens if you don't, but whatever.

Step 7: Enjoy the game.
That's it. Now go sniff torches and die horrible deaths by bats in the woods. The game's easier if you team up with fellow Failures.

Last edited by Different55 (2014-10-17 13:00:55)

colon · 2014-10-17 15:34:37

contagious feckin tourettes female of a canine nature

Starvr344 · 2014-10-18 11:41:16

<30hp 100m 100mv>
Janitor says "Orc kisser!" to you.
You feel different...
<30hp 100m 100mv>
You say "Female dog!" to the Horrible Mudmonster.
The Horrible Mudmonster feels different...
<30hp 100m 100mv>
The Horrible Mudmonster leaves east.
<30hp 100m 100mv>
Starvr OOCS You can see where this is going

Starvr344 · 2014-10-18 11:50:35

Also I found out my computer did have telnet but it wouldn't work for some reason.

Different55 · 2015-01-08 17:56:30

I don't really play this much anymore, but sometimes I still log in just to sniff a torch or two.

SPT · 2015-01-08 20:33:42

yeess thats some good torch

Different55 · 2015-01-08 22:48:58

THEY'RE NOT MINE. THEY'RE MY FRIEND'S. I SWEAR I HAD NO IDEA THEY WERE THERE.

Different55 · 2015-04-23 10:17:22

I should log on and sniff some more torches. I wonder if that Tourettes epidemic is still going on.

Dachi · 2015-04-24 15:33:39

Sniffing torches is bad for one's health.

Different55 · 2015-04-25 19:29:42

Do I look like I care? If I want to sniff torches, I'll sniff torches and you need to mind your own business. It's my life, my body, MY TORCH.

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#1 2014-10-17 12:53:33

CoffeeMUD

#2 2014-10-17 15:34:37

Re: CoffeeMUD

#3 2014-10-18 11:41:16

Re: CoffeeMUD

#4 2014-10-18 11:50:35

Re: CoffeeMUD

#5 2015-01-08 17:56:30

Re: CoffeeMUD

#6 2015-01-08 20:33:42

Re: CoffeeMUD

#7 2015-01-08 22:48:58

Re: CoffeeMUD

#8 2015-04-23 10:17:22

Re: CoffeeMUD

#9 2015-04-24 15:33:39

Re: CoffeeMUD

#10 2015-04-25 19:29:42

Re: CoffeeMUD

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